Thursday, October 1, 2009
Chambers Does Cool Stuff
It's true the standout offensive lineman for our very own Buffalo Bills does cool stuff. This has been confirmed by multiple sources including a man interviewed after the Bills' practice this afternoon. He said, "I saw Chambers and he was like doing cool stuff." When asked to more specifically detail Chambers antics the man replied, "Well it's hard to, you know, narrow it down because it was all just so cool. Like this one play he totally did some cool stuff, like cool stuff you can only do if you're really strong...oh and he has a beard which makes things cool that wouldn't be cool if non-bearded people did them." An unnamed coach for the team had this to say, "Chambers has probably done more cool stuff than this whole team combined and timesed by seven. You know as coaches we track this kind of stat very closely." When asked to provide examples of said statistics the coach gave this interesting tidbit, "Well, I'm not really allowed to specify on that, you know don't want to give away our competitive advantage, but I will say Chambers got 15 doing cool stuff points in practice yesterday for lifting a school bus off of the head coach. It was crazy this school bus crashed through the fence, tipped over and landed on the coach and Chambers just lifted it off. I took notice of that and awarded him extra cool stuff points, a whole 15...wait it was 20 because he got bonus beard points, but man it was cool." Chambers seems to have cornered the market on cool stuff and this Bills reporter is accordingly impressed.
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I wish I was strong and could grow a beard . . .
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