An Explanation on the Sounds you are Hearing.

After sorting through blogs, some listed to the right of this post and some not listed, I've come to the conclusion that it's cool to have music associated with a blog. This conclusion is based on:

1. I like listening to music, and hearing new stuff, or stuff that's new to me, is exciting.

2. This music can be shut off, or turned down and controlled by the reader, so if you want to click on a video clip the two won't compete, or if you just don't want to listen to Voxtrot...click.

3. I've been eager to share some music with yous guys and this seemed a good way.

Frankly, J-dub and Brand-X would both be better suited to make a playlist, with their keen eyes and ears, so this first list features some songs and bands that they've introduced me to, or that they've mentioned liking, as well as some of my favs that aren't as well known.

I'm planning of changing the list up occasionally, and frankly if someone else want to make their own and replace this one that's all right by me.

Enjoy!

I gotta get some things off my chest...

I've got some more guilty pleasures to confess, the guilt of liking the following items is far too great, and I need some relief.

1. McDonald's

I hadn't eaten at Mickey D's in a REALLY long time, I'm thinking other than the very rare Egg McMuffin it had been years. Well the McDonald's in South Provo has recently remodeled and has become, in my estimation, the nicest McDonald's, perhaps on planet earth.

Well for a lark, we went there for breakfast one rare Saturday morning when I wasn't working, and took At-at to the play area while we had breakfast. Atti had a good time, and I was impressed, not with the food, but with the orange juice. The OJ was outstanding. I even got seconds.

So what happens? Other than Atti wanting to go there like ALL THE TIME (she calls it 'old McDonald's, which slays me) I find it's become my go to when I have little time and am hungry. Carl's Jr? Wendy's? BK? I have no desire for any of them. It's been all 1/4 pounders, southern chicken sandwiches and/or Mcnuggets with OJ. I wish I was drawn to Subway like Jed because at least they've got a few 'healthy' options, I've even read 'Fast Food Nation' and seen 'super size me', I don't care. I still want Mickey D's. Either this fad will pass out of my life, I'll gain 250 pounds, or I'll have a heart attack. I'm hoping for the first.

2. Watching 80's videos on youtube.

I get giddy watching these things. It's unhealthy, like eating ice cream for breakfast, but I can't stop. Rather than list them, I'll just link a few...so as to not ruin the surprise. These are all kid appropriate, at least I think so, the little ones don't have to leave the room.

ONE

TWO

And...my personal favorite.

THREE

When I see these videos I'm eight years old watching MTV with my sister again. The nostalgia level is high enough that my eyes start to water. Ridiculous. All of them, I should be ashamed.

Hope you all like them even 1/10th as much as I do.

Did anyone watch the oscars?

While I usually sit in my parent's family room, munching on pizza and snacks and discussing pop-culture ins and outs during the yearly event, this year I've come to a sad conclusion.

I don't really care.

And that's not to say I don't care about who ultimately wins, I'll look up the winners so I can discuss them with the kids at school tomorrow, but I used to get really jazzed about seeing the show, and seeing who won and blah blah blah.

This year Mom and Dad are at the Celine Dion concert (I don't think they realized it was on Sunday when they bought the ticks) and Les and I decided just to stay home.

Over the years I've become more disenchanted with Hollywood patting itself on the back, the banality of the show, the awards going to the wrong actors or the wrong movies (Crash? Please...) and when 'The Dark Knight' was shunned for best picture I just tuned out. (I don't really think it would win, but c'mon, it deserved a mother-loving nomination)

So I hope the show was fun, and you folks who watched the glam and glitz had a good time.

Maybe they'll win me back next year.

Wherein Rob Gives Two Important Announcements

1. My wife was delivered of a beautiful little girl Thursday morning: Anne-Marie Wren. It was our fastest labor and delivery yet--two hours from check-in at the hospital to arrival. Mother and daughter are healthy; an outcome I had expected but was relieved to see realized. I truly am smitten with this little girl--a feeling I expected but was pleased to discover--and am humbled to occupy the position of father during her journey here and hereafter. A hat-tip to the Randles for the middle name.2. We are under contract to buy a house. We can't wait to move in! It's an attractive little home four miles outside of town on 12.4 acres, mostly wooded. The interior is VERY out of date, with bright shag carpeting, wood paneling and a 70's green dishwasher--probably an original. If we can get the well and septic tank to pass county inspection we will close in March. We've been searching for a home and property like this since before we moved here, so it seems too good to be true to have finally found a place that is close to town and some neighbors, but still has space for my homesteading interests. On top of that it has woods--which I had always hoped for but figured we wouldn't find in Kansas where most property is either cultivated or pasture--and is in the best school district in the area. Stupendous!

Method Acting or total break down?

For those who didn't catch this the other night. 

So what does everyone think? 

Is it a hoax or is it a breakdown? 

I would hope it's a hoax, with Casey Affleck following him around with a camera, recording his documentary. 

If it's not a hoax I'd hope someone close to him would get him some help.

Entertaining clip, none the less.

Some advice from one who loves you all

I've noticed an irritating trend lately.

A trend to list 25 random (or should we say stupid?) things about yourself on a blog or facebook page.

Take some advice from me, your old pal Tone. Don't do the list.

If you've done it already, it's okay, there are worse things that you might have done, like smoke pot and let someone take a photo of you, or take steroids from 2001-2004. We forgive you.

If you do get 'tagged' to do a list like this you have my permission to make up the 25 things. Make them 25 lies. Here is an example.

1. I poop soft serve ice cream.

See, and you all thought lying was hard, or did you think lying was bad? Turns out sometimes it's neither.

I feel better now that we've had this talk.

Got Chan?

I had a random Simpson's memory at school today about the I'm an Amendment to Be song...I couldn't almost hear Benson laughing in the background. For some reason this led to a variety of great Jackie Chan memories and associated brawls while watching Chan movies. Was it Brandie's bachelors party where the giant dog pile occurred at the end of the Chan party? Here's a little collection of Chan stunts, the commentary is pretty awful but it's a good count down of some sweet stuff. Enjoy

FOTC Season 2

Because I know none of us have (has?) HBO, YouTube will have to do.

What's a Millionare Swimmer to do?

Surely you've all been subjected to this picture, and probably have heard a million different opinions on the subject. This is superstar swimmer dude Mike Phelps blowing up a balloon...

Hey, wait a sec, is that a bong? (I love it when they call it a 'pipe' on news shows, like 'bong' is a dirty word or something).

Now here's the real question, who cares that this guy is smoking pot in this picture? Seriously?

And another thing, how did this genius let someone take his picture while he was smoking pot?

Dude: Hey Mike, wanna hang out?

Mike: Whatever dude...

Dude: Whoa...sweet, you smoking pot?

Mike: (lighting up) Huh...wha?

Dude:(snapping picture) All right! This will pay off my student loans!

Really, when you're a global sports icon doesn't it occur to you NOT to smoke pot when some dude with a camera is IN THE SAME ROOM WITH YOU? This kills me. I know his parents were super mad, not really that he was smoking, but that he let some jerk photograph him WHILE he was smoking.

Here's my point, I'm not surprised at all that he's doing this, he's a millionaire 23 year old, and I hear from the kids around the HFAC that 23 year old millionaire's love pot. It's common knowledge.

But it really is shocking 1) that he let the picture be taken without grabbing the person who took it, destroying their camera and giving them the' go clean yourself up' barrage of 100 dollar bills, and 2) that everyone is making a such a big deal about this. He gets suspended 3 months, he loses the Kellogg's contract (who were probably looking to cut him lose anyway, he's sort of 15 minutes ago), really with all the cheating going on in the MLB (A-Rod, who saw that coming?) and the bleak economic forecast who cares that little Mike Phelps is taking a hit from the bong? The kids who 'look up to him'? Give me a break, if they're disappointed it's a GREAT chance for their parents to let their kids in on a little secret. That most pro athletes, while they're super good at sports, are human beings and do stupid things. Look up to them for their accomplishments in their sport, and learn from their terrible choices away from it.

Frankly, I'd be happy if I didn't hear about this guy again until 2012, and even then maybe a little soon.

Who still rocks? Guido still rocks.

Last night, while you were all abed and the whos were still asnooze, Guido was bringing the rock to Salt Lake City. You have to admire the dude for running down the dream.











Wait, wait. Who still rocks? This old dude is at a show at midnight. He still rocks.

Some Terms You May Not Have Heard Lately

Sometimes we forget about our upbringing and the unique colloquialisms with which our culture endows us. Here are a few that you may not have heard lately.

Loogie: This is the generic term for a nice big spit. It can also have snot mixed in it. I probably started using this in 5th or 6th grade. I remember in 5th grade the boys would have spitting contests in the morning until we had to go inside. Proper usage is to "hock [not sure on the spelling] a loogie." Sometimes it is called a logie. In fact, that was the term I am more familiar with--and it rhymes with the next term you may have forgotten.

Chogie: This is a logie that has chunks of phlegm in it; i.e. a chunky logie. This may have been a local term because I couldn't find it in the urban dictionary.

Gleeking: This term is in the urban dictionary so is probably fairly widespread. It is not nearly as disgusting as a chogie, but is the weapon of choice of cool junior high kids like Tevita Iongue and Brandon Beardall. It is executed by raising the tongue and shooting a small stream of saliva from the salivary glands as far as possible. Truly accomplished individuals can gleek at will, but most would-be gleekers require candy or other salivation inducing foods to pull it off. I remember Beardall and other tough junior high kids gleeking out the bus window at cars. That's some coolness that is tough to beat.

Jared Fogle, you son of a...

So I have a small problem with subway. Not so much a "problem" as a PROBlem. A problem resembling an addiction. I have an addictive personality, it’s true, and just when I was so proud of kicking my Diet Coke habit (totally carbonation free since November 07, fools!) and a subsequent affair with Vitamin Water, I find myself now a slave to a five dollar sandwich. It’s embarrassing.

But as long as I’m spending the money, I might as well take advantage of any perks they offer, right? So I have the card, and you’d better believe I use it. The reward is hardly what it could/should be. 75 points gets you a free footlong. And you get a point per dollar. Yes, that’s a seventy-five dollar sandwich. That’s $6.25/in. But every inch tastes so good.

So my confession is out there: I have a problem. Today, I discovered a new one. And it has less to do with my pocketbook than I’m comfortable with.

Yesterday, in a hurry, I stopped at the Subway across the street from the Orem Library. I hadn’t planned to get a sandwich, but the timing was such that my already crippled will was rendered totally lame. So I got my fix (and the gal that made my sub was THE FASTEST sandwich artist I’ve ever seen. I’m pretty quick on the draw, these days, when it comes to placing an order, but this lady blew past me and was practically tapping her toes by the time I caught up. I wanted to take her home, but I thought better of it, considering the conversation I’d be having with Jayne when we got there-- Hey, hon, this is Candace. She’s going to be making my sandwiches...) As I was paying, the nice lady told me I had 73 points on my card and that my next sandwich would be free. Great, I thought. I’m going to use this on a day when I really need it.

That day came today. I was already out and I thought, hey, it’s free (I don’t need a great excuse). So I went to my standard haunt (the one in the Riverwoods where the staff still doesn’t greet me like the old friend that I am) and started salivating early, imagining the special free sandwich I was going to get. You see, you can get any variety you like after having spent $75 to get there. So I made the whole thing in my mind before I got to the glass.

I arrived early enough to beat the rush so that when my sandwich was done, there was already a lady at the till ringing me up. And I could see that she had a total for me, and it was exorbitant-- twice the price of my regular. And my face got warm and my hands started to shake. Granted, I had a free sandwich coming and I knew it. But something about the vibe was wrong and I could tell it wasn’t going to end well.

“Would you like a meal with that?”

“Uh, nah.” I’m still playing it cool-- using words like “nah”.

“Your total is $9.79.”

Fumbling in my wallet-- where the hell is that blessed Subway card!? I’m starting to sweat and I can’t feel the fingertips at the end of my knuckles.

“I should be pretty close to the free...”

“Sorry?”

I look up from my wallet which has suddenly become a blurry, foreign object. She isn’t even looking at me. “I should be... free, I think... this card.” I find it and hand it over with the debit.

In a single flick of the wrist she had scanned my debit, charging me the $9.79, then she scanned the other.

“You have 87 points. Have a nice day.”

Blink. Blink. I walk away.

Now, what kind of a pansy does that make me? I’ve never been very bold in the buying situation because I usually trust that the lady with the huge calculator knows better than I do how much stuff costs. But in the face of FREE food? All I had to do was say, “Can I use those points now?” And she would have said, “Oh, sure.” And I wouldn’t have purchased a ten dollar sandwich. A ten dollar sandwich? That sucker should stand up and sing the national anthem for ten dollars.

So today I found out that I’m a wussy chicken with a debilitating sandwich addiction. If Jayne doesn’t read this post, she’ll find the receipt and she’ll curse the day we merged our bank accounts.

I’m sorry, Jayne. If it makes you feel any better, the sandwich wasn’t even that good. It tasted like shame.

New Films

Hey Dudes,

In case anyone's curious about what Brandie and the high school film kids have been up to lately, here you go: